Once you’ve established your wardrobe; or instead of establishing your wardrobe; or before, during, and after establishing your wardrobe; think about contributing to hers. Depending on the item, doing this will show one of two things: one, you think and care about her; or two, you’re a man that knows what he wants. As long as you are not out to change her, this is a win-win situation because showing her what you like will keep you both happier, longer…
1. Jewelry
Let’s start with the item on everyone’s mind—jewelry. Although diamonds are a girl’s best friend, any gem will do. Try her birthstone, maybe? Or if she’s artsy, a custom piece of hand-blown glass, or something with a rare stone? More important than the rock (or possibly lack thereof) is the metal. Silver or gold, copper, or platinum, you might not know the difference, but women across the spectrum, from art to bling-bling, generally have a preference. So, if you’re going to give her a gift like this, do it right. Pay attention to what she wears more of, or simply ask her or her friends. Do not go looking through her jewelry box.
2. A North Face jacket
Sporty chicks. Girly chicks. Workaholic chicks. Alcoholic chicks. Living in the Northwest this is standard: Chicks like dudes that buy them North Face jackets. No joke, there’s probably subliminal messaging in their advertising… What’s great is that you don’t have to buy her the most expensive one to impress her, anything North Face and jacket-esque will fill the perceived need and serve a practical purpose. Plus, giving her something North Face shows an adventurous side in you, that you also like (or want to see) in her.
3. Any other jacket
Lacking shazam for “just because,” but as you think about adding to her wardrobe, a jacket could definitely go on a birthday or Christmas list. It’s thoughtful, it’s useful, it’s personal, and it comes in a big box, which are generally fun to unwrap!
4. Headphones
Opposite of the above, headphones can double as a “just because” or celebratory gift. From 10 THINGS: Your Girlfriend Wants For Christmas, “Please tell me your girlfriend likes music. If not, please reconsider your relationship. Dr. Dre just came out with new headphones. Bose just came out with a low-end version of their headphones. And if she’s girly, Skullcandy always carries a pink line of headphones. If she’s into music, you can’t go wrong here.”
5. Lingerie
If shopping at Victoria’s Secret is awkward for me, it is definitely going to be awkward for you. So, without a doubt, if you can buy her lingerie, you’ve won a spot in the “man that knows what he wants” category. Not surprisingly, you’ll also find yourself in the “happier, longer…” category. It’s worth a try.
6. Something cozy for your place
How often does she spend the night at your place? How often do you want her to spend the night at your place? If you want more, getting her a robe, her own bath towel, slipper-socks, booty shorts, etc. will encourage her. Furthermore, two or three of the above and clearing out half of your top drawer will move your relationship into more serious territory (at least in her mind). If you cringed reading that, then you’re not ready; but if you could consider it, do! It shows that you care, want her comfortable, and enjoy her company even in “sweat pants, hair tied, chillin’ with no make up on.”
7. XXXX
You know that XXXX she tried on at the mall, but didn’t buy, and looked at you with puppy-dog eyes, so you assumed she was…hungry? Think about what that XXXX was. What store? What size? What color? Is there a sales person that can help you find it again? Because she wants you to buy it for her.
8. Something to wear on an adventure
I hope you took me seriously when I told you to try something new. I also hope you took it to heart when I said that spontaneity plays a key role in a relationship’s longevity. [More words of wisdom here.] Now, try combining these two while adding to her wardrobe. Just before you’re going to try something new, and after she’s already dressed and en route, surprise her with something new to wear during your adventure. Don’t buy the full space suit, she will not change her outfit. Just surprise her with an accessory. For example, if you’re going skiing, buy her a scarf; if you’re taking a cooking class, get her an apron; if you’re salsa dancing, bring a rose for her hair. Get it?
9. Shoes A gift certificate for shoes
I don’t care what type of woman she is—all women wear shoes (duh!). And most women love shoes! However, for most men out there, I don’t recommend you buy her such things. You’ll probably pick out something she won’t like, or even though she’s ALWAYS a size 7, the size 7 you pick probably won’t fit. Instead, give her a gift card with directions to go shoe shopping! This will make her day. You will be dubbed #boyfriendoftheyear. You will also get to watch football while she goes and spends the gift card. And once she’s home, you’ll melt in her mouth, not in her hand…while she wears her new shoes.
10. Perfume
You love how she smells, don’t you? And you love how your pillow smells like her even when she’s not there, right? Contribute to this fund. No need to be sneaky, just ask her what perfume she wears, and go buy more. Another win-win situation…
[Editor’s note: For anyone curious, Number Eight is the author’s favorite.]