In a world of instant gratification, being pursued may seem like a thing of the past. For me it is a prerequisite. Despite what modern, clueless girls say, ladies still want to be treated kindly and asked on dates. Read a single girl’s tweets; they are just DYING to be asked out on a proper date.
Side note: refrain from lurking for dates on Twitter and Facebook, it’s too impersonal no matter how trendy it is.
Face to face and non-verbal communication speak volumes to your chemistry, and when it comes to dating can serve as a challenge. I’ve got three steps to intriguing a woman using a hint of basic reverse psychology. This scenario works best in a social setting, but can be successful anywhere with proper behavioral modifications.
First step: Subtle Invitation
Put on your most confident self. Unleash your inner Ryan Gosling. Think of your most attractive self. Women are weak in the knees for a man who is sure of himself. Embrace your best attributes, stand with legs about shoulder width apart, back straight with your body language open to her direction. Shoot desired subject a stare and make eye contact. Flash a smile. This subtle invite is what I refer to as “Peacock-ing”.
Second step: Ignore
After showing your feathers, take your fabulous self and direct your attention anywhere else—just not suggestively to another girl. If she’s interested in trying to gain your attention back, she will take this as a cue to reposition onto your radar and approach you. Do the infamous walk-by or she may ride it out hoping you’ll talk to her.
Third step: Put in work
Once you decide to make the approach, have something to say. Nothing is more awkward or annoying than some guy coming up to you with an empty compliment or directly asking for your number. Ask if she heard about Heidi Klum and Seal’s divorce rumors or seek an answer to one of our many female mysteries (just no bodily function talk). Show spontaneity, pique her interest. Tread lightly working your conversation skills without appearing thirsty for sex. If the body language is positive and she’s responsive to your conversational skills, ask to take her out. I know I sound way traditional, but asking a girl out is the most genuine gesture of your interest.
Bonus: If you get the digits, call within three days and ask her on a real date; not drinks at a bar, not a movie and definitely NOT to your house. (More on that later as first date expectations require a separate column.)
Spend a good portion of your evening conversing with a beautiful lady with no date at the end? Extricate the situation. Perhaps she has a boyfriend. Maybe she’s a lesbian. Maybe you were trying too hard. Or you wore the wrong shoes. The explanations are endless, but the message is simple: She’s just not that into you. Consider yourself lucky. You just saved yourself from a total waste of time… and money. Don’t let the rejection get you down and keep a positive outlook on the search for a classy lady. Women are like doves, you’ve got to show no fear if you want to get close to us.
Erika Ellis, the girl who wears many hats, is a social twenty-something mom, freelance journalist, model, makeup artist and creative director. Currently the regional makeup artist for Chanel, Erika has also accomplished many published works as a talent to include featured appearances in ELLE, Rolling Stone, MTV, NBC, among others.
For more from Erika Ellis check out www.PeaceLoveErika.com
Twitter: @peaceloveerika