It turns out that terrible local rappers and desperate women have a lot in common.
Maybe too much in common?
Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a terrible local rapper and a female at the same spot at the same time.
Are terrible local rappers actually desperate females?
We observe the similarities.
Both want someone rich/successful to take care of them.
Desperate girls and terrible local rappers have their hopes set high that prince charming will come down and save them from the terrible lives they have built for themselves.
For terrible local rappers, Prince Charming is a major act that is going to take them on tour and convince the world that they aren’t terrible. In extremely delusional cases, rappers may actually believe that Jay-Z is going to hear their mixtape on Bandcamp and put them on the cover of XXL. (It’s all blunts, bitches and Bentleys after that. Right?)
Desperate women are waiting for Mr. Right Now to turn into Mr. Pay Off My Credit Cards and Student Loans—a much more likely scenario.
Both make situations awkward by asking opinions in public.
It’s uncomfortable to get cornered into the position of being a critic—especially when an honest opinion is extremely negative. Still, terrible rappers have a way of cornering me at the bar with 20 questions about their newest mixtape, only to eventually be told that I never listened to it.
Desperate girls are a little more subtle, making remarks like, “I feel like this dress makes me look fat.”
It’s not the dress, and your mirror didn’t lie.
I didn’t listen to your mixtape because it didn’t even sound like anyone mixed the single.
Both complain about you not listening.
“Nobody shows support in this town!”
“I can’t find anyone to accept me for who I am!”
These statements are identical. Both people want your undivided attention, and when they don’t get it they make excuses and cry.
Being an artist without a fan base is not fun at all, but if you take your craft seriously, then focus your energy on getting better and not acting like a desperate girl.
Self-improvement is not overrated.
Both make (a lot of) annoying Facebook posts.
“CHEKK OUT MY MIXXTAPPE!!! This is the hottest shit in the streets right now!”
“Wow, I seriously thought he was the one. Now I don’t know what to think. Can I trust anyone anymore? I’m starting to think that there is not a living soul out there to share this existence with.”
I do not know which is worse.
It’s not even the post themselves; it’s how frequently they are made.
We all know at least two people who fit into each of these categories and have made posts exactly like this within the last 24 hours.
Both suck.
You get it… We are talking personalities here…
Both wear fake bling.
Nobody believes those earrings are real.
And it’d be worse if they were real, because there are about 107 things that the money could have been better spent on.
What other comparisons are there?