Wuddup Cuz? Ever done anything stupid? I pretty much do every day, let’s see… Yesterday I spilled coffee on my sweatpants, misplaced a set of my boss’s keys, forgot to eat dinner, and then went
to a park in North East all by my white rapper self (even after having my phone stolen). As I contemplate my long illustrious line of bad decisions I must say that the worst decision I’ve ever made is trying to change myself for somebody. Not that I wanted to change, so I guess the proper way to put it is “Changing to save a relationship”. And 9 out of 10 doctors agree that sh*t is whack.
Here’s the breakdown: I was a young and struggling white rapper without a clue in the world (kind of sounds like yesterday). I enjoyed things like pot, playing NBA 2k, and wearing clothes that probably
would have fit most power forwards in todays NBA. I had a girl or whatever and we were in love and made it work. Well, that’s not entirely true, she made it work, I just kind of showed up for the party. Not a bad deal eh? She cooked, cleaned and S’d the D and for a while I had a really good thing going. I was living in a cloud of smoke letting the good times roll until one day she came home and everything suddenly changed, she found god.
Now, I have no problem with religion. It’s just not for me, I curse, I white rap, and want to watch football on Sundays. My father tried to take me to me to a Catholic church for a while until I was just like “dog, I’m not buying what they are selling, the Vikings game starts in 20 minutes I say we pick up some cinnamon rolls and bounce”. On top of that I look like a little boy which has its benefits, just not inside
a catholic church. PapaLv was like “I feel you cuz” and that was the end of that.
Back to the girlfriend, she put the hammer down on urrything, no more blunts, NO CURSING and put the va jay jay in a vault not even Macgyver could crack. She gave me a bible and basically said find god or we’re done. (I can barely find the bathroom in most public situations.) Anyway, I should have told
that b*tch to get out and leave her sisters number on the table but I had a lot less self-confidence at this point in my life. So I tried, knowing the entire time I would never find god or be about that life.
I bought some button up shits, watched my language and actually tried reading the bible. I honestly couldn’t get more than 15 pages into it, I kept waiting for the action and it never came. Before I had ever
open a bible I always imagined it being very Russle Crowe verses the evil empire oriented, my bad. So I tried desperately to tiger crawl my way back into the relationship by pretending to be someone I wasn’t.
Long story short it didn’t work and we went our separate ways, you don’t say? We’ve all seen people change to satisfy their current significant other, as if that is going to fix things but it’s not. We are who we are, she wasn’t the one and someday I’ll find my light skinned princess with an assortment of daddy issues that coincide with my ever growing list of mental shortcomings. I’m no expert on anything outside
of Tarvaris Jackson but I don’t think changing who you are to make someone else happy is ever going to work. I heard a quote the other day that I think sums up what my dumbass is trying to say perfectly.
“Its not the woman that makes the man, it’s the trials and tribulations along the way that do”. I’m relatively certain that works both ways.
When we are meant to find the right person we will, and hopefully they have a sh*t ton of money. So until then I’m going to party and pour cheap Champaign on the white b*tches.
Lv Out