College football has begun. NFL football kicks off tonight. WOHM has ten tips and one question for you.
Are…you…ready?
1. Gear up…clothes
You haven’t gotten gear yet? Idiot. At this point, finding gear ain’t gonna be easy. Many of the licensed-to-sell stores will be sold out (or at least sold out of the good stuff, in the popular sizes). Your best bets for gear are wearing last year’s and buying new stuff a few weeks out, or hitting a pop-up tent store and buying a sandpaper-like $10 shirt.
2. Stock up…food
This is football season not a natural disaster, so thankfully you still have time to buy food. Grocery stores might be mad houses after work tonight, but you can do it none-the-less. Chips, dip. Candy (I like Red Vines while watching football), cookies. Limes. More chips. Carrots aren’t bad for a healthy option, plus dip. Watermelon is another healthy alternative. Frozen pizzas and tamales. More chips, salsa. Beef jerky and Corn Nuts. Hot dogs and the fixings; and if you’re woman won’t make potato salad, pick some up in the deli. Mmm.
3. Beer up…duh
While at the grocery store, feel free to forget everything above… But DO NOT forget the beer. And stock up, gentlemen! How many times have you had to make beer runs during halftime? This season, learn from your past mistakes. Buy too much beer (is that possible?) and store it in the garage or on the deck, until you’ve pounded what’s in the frig. And buy bottles AND cans, so everyone’s happy (and shotgunning).
4. Get hyped
You have the right to talk about football all day long today and tomorrow—and a woman has granted that right to you. Talk about the drafts, redshirts, new coaches, what uniforms will look like, and who will win the coin toss. Heck, put some money where your mouth is while you’re at it!
5. Play fantasy football
Today is the last day to register your fantasy teams. I repeat. TODAY IS THE LAST DAY TO REGISTER YOUR FANTASY TEAMS. Quit reading, register now, and please come back.
6. Get the new Madden
Madden NFL 13 launched last week and hit record day-one retail sales, and record day-one online usage. There are a bunch of new features that mean nothing to me, but will to you, I’m sure. Trust that the game is performing well and you should get your hands on a copy in order to really get into the season’s spirit, realistically and digitally.
7. Practice drinking
To further get in the spirit…drink. You should not be attending happy hours after work; you should be inviting people over to play beer pong. You should not be taking shots at the bar on Friday night; you should be at home taking shots for Power Hour. And it’d be smart to buy a beer bong, if you don’t own one already. Practice makes perfect.
8. Find a bar
On games that you’re 1) not attending or 2) not having people watch it at your place, you should have your go-to bar chosen in advance. Setting a go-to bar now makes watch-party planning for the rest of the season simple. You know where you’re going. Your friends know where you’re going. Pro tip: Chose somewhere with good wings; a big TV is nothin’ without tasty wings.
9. Know the game schedule
WOHM found the schedule for you. You’re welcome. College. NFL.
10. Have team spirit
Make signs (or have your girlfriend make them). Brush up on your college’s fight song, most can be found here. And let’s getttttttt readddddyyyy to ruuuuuuumble!!! (Wait.)
#GoDucks and #GoGiants!