After high school, I made a bucket list—ten things I want to do before I die. Looking at my list now is both silly and rewarding. Silly in that I wanted to learn how to ride a motorcycle, but ended up wrecking one. And rewarding to see all the items I’ve already been able to cross off (I’ll spare you what I consider rewarding *cough seeing Eminem live cough*). I encourage you to experience this same moment. So, grab a pen and paper an iPad and make a bucket list.
If I were a man, here’s what mine would look like:
1. Go skydiving
Although I’ve never been, I imagine skydiving would have a massive adrenaline rush before jumping / endorphin rush after landing. So massive, the experience would top any other adrenaline / endorphin rushes in my lifetime. So massive, Nike should have a skydiving campaign (put it in the comments if they already do). So massive, it belongs on one’s bucket list. Just make sure you pick a credible place, or this may be your last YOLO-moment.
2. Have a threesome
Threesome! YOLO! You won’t get a disease! (Kidding, be careful.) You won’t end up with two baby mamas! (Kidding again, you know what to do.) Your girlfriend won’t end up getting jealous! (Eh.)
3. Get a tattoo or piercing
Your body is your temple, decorate it. If you’re worried about a tattoo because it’s permanent…stop worrying, they are no longer permanent. Tattoo removal procedures have come a long way, and the rule of supply and demand says the price of this procedure will go down. Don’t believe me? Get a piercing! Live on the wild side, YOLO.
4. Live outside of Oregon
You can have Oregon pride without living in the state. (e.g.: “Oregon raised me, XXXX pays me.”) It’s easy to get stuck in a rut in Oregon, which for me, led to not appreciating the windy coast, wet summers, slow unicyclists, stinky-shoeless hippies, and wannabe hipsters. I encourage you to get out of Oregon; so when you visit, you appreciate it. Keep Portland weird.
5. Travel outside of the country
Stop saying you’ll do it later. Stop saying you don’t have the time or money. Add “quit my shitty job” to your bucket list and travel the world, YOLO.
6. Take a girl’s virginity or F a MILF
Age and preference dependent, take a girl’s virginity or F a MILF. Savor the moment, make it last, and bust out your camera phone to take a picture ‘cuz it’ll last longer. [Cheap joke.]
7. Own a house / sports car / something expensive
Buy yourself something nice. YOLO, and Y deserve it.
8. Own a custom tailored suit
You’re a man now; if you’re not, rest assured you’ll be a man one day. Every man ought to own a suit (regardless of how often he will wear it). Do it right the first time and get a custom one. At the strong recommendation of friends, try Astor & Black.
9. Accomplish something physical
Hike Mt. Kilimanjaro. Swim in the Caribbean. Float in the Red Sea. Ski in the Swiss Alps. Scuba dive through the Great Barrier Reef.
10. See XXXX in concert
How much money do you normally spend on concert tickets? How much would you spend to see your favorite artist? What ever that number is, spend more. A friend told me, “If you’re not living outside of your budget, you’re not living.”
BONUS: Extra points if you cross any of these off your bucket list: sleep with a porn star, punch a celebrity, party after the show with your favorite artist, plan a spontaneous trip where you book and fly out that day, write a book, end up in a Mexican jail, laugh so hard you pee your pants, don’t shave for a month, start a company, buy something off the black market…
YOLO.